Well another one is in the books, no tears as of yet. No mourning the run finish. A conversation was had on trail yesterday, I don't even remember with whom, however, a guy who I'd been running with a while said something to the effect that he couldn't wait to finish. I quickly said, I hate the finish. He looked at me like I was in some state of delirium. I explained that I enjoy all the hard miles so much during the training process, I get sad when the finish comes.
Thankfully this time as I finished yesterday's race, I have other goals, near by and in clear view. Certainly helps my emotional state, well the day is still young so we shall see if I continue without the full on sob of mourning the run.
Yesterday's race was much different. So much has been going on in my life, I started the race alone, finished alone, nothing negative but just a thought. As I was running I was having such a great time, felt free, like a ten year old little girl running through the woods. I braided my hair that morning, so I really did feel like a kid.
I giggled many times during the day as once I was running by some pine trees with droopy needles, immediately thought of the characters off Fraggle Rock.
I laughed too as I was getting food from the aid stations. I remembered Ray telling me do not waste space in your stomach with liquid void of calories. So the food and beverage of choice, coke, gummy bears, and Gatorade (with sugar.) I kept my wits about me, brain needs sugar to think and the muscles need glycogen to function. One word: sugar. I may have "ability to think" as a super power. :)
At about mile 22 I caught my second wind. Started going around a few people. A guy way walking, moved over on the trail and said "girl, I guess you caught your second wind." I had.
I ran, kicked Spiderwoman and Spiderwoman II in the butt, fell twice as it had rained so the trail was slick, laughed a lot, met some really cool people and had several hours of stress relief.
My phone died somewhere around mile 10, which made me angry at first but then I was relieved because I couldn't be bothered.
How in the world could putting my body through 31 miles be relaxing? Running is the only time that I am able to focus on the present, live in the moment, that's why.
Life is so full of what ifs, planning ahead (I'm a schedule junky) and so much grown up issues (thumbs down) that when I can escape to the trail or road for a chunk of time, I can be free, concentrate on nothing but the run and have some natural Xanax.
Running is my drug of choice, adrenaline, sweet adrenaline, the thrill of the challenge, and showing others that with work anything can be done.
No, running is not for everyone, though would be a shame not to give it a go, but find your own calm. Your natural Xanax.
I find so much peace in the physical, the motion, the taxing of the body, the release. There is great comfort and stillness in motion.
There are days when I know that if I don't get to run, I will lose my mind, so I find a way to run, whether at night or super early in the morning. Running is my passion, distance, I love, pushing the distance, my goal and chasing the distance...a lifestyle.
Harbison 50k was the beginning of my quest for ultra glory (joke btw) it was an attempt that I completed. It's the 5k in the ultra world, so of course my quest is to go further (but I'm sure that is evident) how far, I don't know yet. But one thing I can promise myself, I will make sure to have fun, that's the most important thing.
Life is good. What a way to kick off the New Year, doing what I love best, running.
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